The Complete Set
by I Can Kill You With My Brain
Summary: They wanted the complete set.


**The Complete Set**

They get Mal first, on a job gone wrong. They smile and lock him in a room where the doors sink into the walls. They ask him where the rest of his crew is, where they would've gone. They want, as they refer to it, the "complete set".

"You've got me," he tells them through a mouthful of blood at the end of one of their interrogations. "You should be happy. Hell, you should be thrilled. Not many people get to look at someone so pretty in their lifetime. And I'm so very, very, pretty."

After that they don't bother questioning him, though he has his doubts about whether they gave up or if orders from on high came down and ended all further questionings.

It doesn't stop them though and after a while (there is no time here, no clocks or windows or anything to mark the passage of time save the regular arrival of food through the door) they bring in Zoe.

She's bloodied and bruised and he wonders if she got that way when they tried to subdue her or through questioning. But the way one of the officers backs up slightly when he sees her tells him that it's through the attempted retrieval.

"Hey there Zoe," he says cheerfully, reclining against the wall of the room. "Long time no see." Zoe smiles at him. "Wash is gonna be jealous," he continues blithely. "You just can't stay away. Though I am irresistible, I've heard it from very reliable sources."

It's about this time that he gets clubbed over the head with the butt of a gun so he stays quiet. When he wakes up she's using part of his shirt dipped in water to stop the bleeding.

He's glad for her company, though he hates to see her stuck here with him. He thought he was about to go insane with only the walls and the occasional Alliance officer to talk to.

She's just finished telling him all about what he's missed in the two weeks that he's been a captive and is just walking him through the riveting argument between her and Jayne about who was going to take over the ship when the door opens and Wash comes in.

He gives them a weak smile and passes out cold on the floor, coming to hours later and telling them not to worry, that help is on the way. Mal and Zoe exchange doubtful smiles, and Mal fills them in about all the exciting things he's learned while being here; like that there are exactly one hundred twenty tiles in this room and that he thinks the mystery meat they are given every day is squirrel.

Thirteen meal cycles later Kaylee gets dragged in, white and shaking. There's a handprint on her face, resulting in a yelling match between Mal and the section of the wall through which the officers have just gone. Though, according to Kaylee, she gave as good as she got.

"That's my girl," Mal tells her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pretending not to see her crying.

Not long after that Jayne comes in, looking like he just went through a war. Which, knowing Jayne, was very likely.

"I brought grenades," he gloated to Mal, his smile revealing two missing teeth. "Betcha you wished ya'd that of that."

Zoe snorts into her cup of water and even Mal cracks a smile.

"Ah Jayne, how we have missed your sparkling sense of humor," Wash says sarcastically from his perch near the door.

"What?" asks Jayne, his mouth stuffed full of the prison food that the others have barely touched.

"Shut up," Wash clarifies, turning over and trying to sleep. While he's doing that, Jayne fills them in on the past three weeks.

Book had left, vanishing off the ship as soon as they touched down on Persephone. Meanwhile, Inara had gotten a client of hers to harbor her, Simon, and River.

Inara, who appeared looking as stately as ever, informed Jayne that when he was captured Simon had vanished, River going with him.

"They're dead," said Jayne conversationally. He paused, some mystery meat halfway to his mouth, at the looks of the others.

"Jayne!" snapped Mal, jerking his head at Kaylee, who had just broken down.

"I was just saying," he mumbled. "Maybe they aren't."

"We'd better pray so," murmured Inara, comforting Kaylee. Though the others didn't say so, they all prayed to, bowing their heads and pleading with any all deities they could think.

Their prayers go unanswered or unheeded, and twenty meals later Simon comes through the door; bruised, bleeding, and grinning like a madman.

"They don't have River," he mutters before drifting unconscious. When he wakes up and manages to push himself into a sitting position he informs them it's been a week since Inara's capture.

Kaylee, who hasn't left his side since he got here, leans closer to him.

"Where's River?" she asks, worry coloring her tone. Simon winces, pain in his eyes.

"I don't know," he says softly. "She's been hysterical forever, ever since Mal got captured. Book's gone, we can't find him anywhere. I was trying to book passage on a ship when I got snagged, River was back at the safe house. Right now, she's in the wind."

"She'll be fine," comforts Kaylee, one hand hovering as she tries to find somewhere on Simon that wasn't covered in bruises.

"You look like you put up a good fight," says Jayne, looking the doc over with a practiced eye. Simon smiles bitterly.

"I bit one of them," he says tightly. "Stupid move really, and who will doctor the doctor?" Jayne says nothing, but he looks impressed. When the food comes he gives Simon his mystery meat.

"What is this?" Simon asks, staring at it.

"Squirrel," says Mal. Inara hits him and Kaylee looks like she's about to throw up.

"Huh," says Simon. He puts it down. "I just remembered, I'm a vegetarian."

Everyone laughs and goes back to eating or, in the case of most of them, observing their food.

Three days later there's a clanging from the ceiling, resulting in much terror and several "oh god oh god, we're all going to die" as they waited for the ceiling to collapse.

Instead a hatch opened along an invisible seam and River's head popped through the opening. The crew relaxed slightly, smiling up at River. Being River, she had to find an alternate way in.

She was just opening her mouth to speak when there was a loud zapping and she tumbled from the gap, barely managing to throw out her hands before she hit the floor. There was a snap and she struggled upright.

"Ow," she muttered, staring at her wrist. Simon snapped into doctor mode, rushing over to check on her. Mal glanced up at the ceiling, watching as it sealed itself with a click.

River shoved her brother away and got to her feet, frowning at her hand. She flitted over to the door just as it opened, attacking and disabling the three men bringing the food without a second thought. She paused, gathering their guns, and then darted out into the hallway, her broken wrist flopping by her side.

The crew followed her, stiff and weak from weeks of captivity. They followed her via the body trail, bursting out of the facility at a dead run as alarms blared.

River dropped the guns and spun into a kick, snapping the head of an officer back. She twisted, feet and hand flashing, whirling through the crowd. She ducked, snagged a knife, and slit the throat of the last man standing.

She bent, scooped up a pistol, and took off at a dead run towards Serenity, which was parked crookedly on the edge of the military base.

"You parked her crooked?!" yelled Mal over the sound of alarms and gunfire. River shot him a disgusted look and shot one of the officers before diving into the cargo bay of Serenity, the rest of the crew following.

Wash was already heading up the stairs towards the control room; Kaylee hot on his heels, desperate to get to the engine room.

Zoe hit the button to close the doors just as the ship jerked off the ground. The remaining crew grabbed onto random pieces of junk for dear life as they shot away from the Alliance base camp.

"Poor little soldiers," said River sadly, her face serene as she balanced perfectly in the middle of the room. The crew stared at her in horror.

"Poor soldiers? Poor Mal!" yelled Mal, staring at her in horror. River shrugged, glancing away from him. "They wanted the complete set to hand to their bosses."

"Well," said Mal, "Next time they should ask." River snickered and even Simon cracked a smile. "Now if you don't mind," Mal said, "I feel like dinner."

Simon gave him a surprised look. "You're cooking? What are we having?"

"Roast beef," said Mal cheerfully, heading towards the mess hall. Simon stared after him.

"What are we really having?" he asked, heading after him.

"Squirrel," yelled Mal. Everyone laughed and dispersed, leaving River alone in the room.

She stared sadly at the cargo bay doors.

"Poor little soldiers," she repeated. "Just wanted the complete set." She sighed and stood up, heading upstairs. "You should have asked."


End file.
